At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
