YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
