I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize