the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
