i permit you to call me
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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