it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you mean i was at the winter classic?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
