can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
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Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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