he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
