I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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