Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
