And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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