so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
