would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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