You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
