Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
