My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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