I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I had to cum in my sink.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
