College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize