he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
