The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
