I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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