I molested 6 butterflies tonight
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
