If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
