I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize
