Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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