belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
