Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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