I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
