i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Randomize
