i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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