my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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