So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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