if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize