? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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