I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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