I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
