I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
nutella sex= disaster
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
