I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
