The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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