Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Randomize
