so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
