I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
home. puking in laundry basket.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
We're too hungover to prance.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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