Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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