so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
