addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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