just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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