Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
