Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
