There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
