May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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