Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
