and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
