so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
