Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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