Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
