why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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