I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
this just has baby written all over it
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
