Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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