Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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